I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
