Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
