i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
