Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
