Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize