It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
