I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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