Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
