she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
