i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Randomize