Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
