I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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