Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
