So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
