Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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