I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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