hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
