What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize