Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
