The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
