I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
