I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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