I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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