i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
