he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
