I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
