my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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