wat bout pragnant strippers??
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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