whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
