Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
