He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
