I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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