Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
