if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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