just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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