i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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