Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
