brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
