she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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