me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
