Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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