If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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