i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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