Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
