dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize