I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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