I hate all girls vehemently.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
