Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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