I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
