I should be sponsored by Trojan
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
