I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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