I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
