Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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