I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
