I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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