8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
