A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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