Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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