I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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