After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
