if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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