she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
