I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
why didn't you poke me back
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I love you.
Bad choice
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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