The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
